As if it werent bad enough that True Blood is not as awesome and engaging as everyone else and their mom thinks it is, Kick Ass and Good Luck Chuck are also not appropriate movies to watch in public on account of the masturbation, topless, underage sex (the creepy kind, not the jailbait kind) and oral sex @ the beach scenes. I guess I need to find one of those Christian warning movie reviews before I load up my iPad with films I intent on watching on an airplane or train next time. jesus…

Did you know that I know all kinds of other languages that probably make you totally wanna do me in a sexual way that involves intercourse cuz im so alluring with my wordie awesomeness? oh, you didnt? well guess what? kids are stupid. and they fall for the silent game. you know what I fall for? unlevel floorboard without a “watch your step” sign near them.

I originally declined the request to go shopping for a frigging new dress but eventually relented. at least a video came out of it. think she’s happy i came? cuz im dy-no-mite.

Extended scenes discussing Playboys awesome marketing strategy, Ashleys ugly sunglasses, the dy-no-mite song and what racism is.

I’m so popular and in such high demand that sometimes i like to just get a reading on what “the other half” (you people) do and how you live your pathetic lives. let me know in the comments. and also – like.. if you wanna hang out or somethin. just like. lemme know. just in case. or whatever. i dontevencare. so like. whatever.

Enjoying my girly wispy Leonardo haircut before it all falls out and I turn into a skeletal horrific mess. Dicaprio did it right in Titanic: die young and die pretty. also some observations on old people.

My cousin had a purple “smile” stain on his mouth from drinking grape juice and I got inspired. he turned out to be a great subject.

Don’t you hate it when people think they’re somebody? Batman is somebody. I’m kindov like Batman. all humble and stuff and leading double lives with a split personality of awesomeness. also other things…. please like me…

also: the shirt says “adorkable” btw.

Biebers heart is on the wrong side of his body and everyone knows that internal organ reversal means parallel dimension. OH SNAP, BITCH. busted…

Ever have to keep yourself from saying or doing really horrible or inappropriate stuff? like shooting yourself in the face? it happens to me all the time. lets talk about it in a video, shalt we? also you shouldn’t scam people by luring them in with something and then changing the rules. thats lame. IRK?