As if it werent bad enough that True Blood is not as awesome and engaging as everyone else and their mom thinks it is, Kick Ass and Good Luck Chuck are also not appropriate movies to watch in public on account of the masturbation, topless, underage sex (the creepy kind, not the jailbait kind) and oral sex @ the beach scenes. I guess I need to find one of those Christian warning movie reviews before I load up my iPad with films I intent on watching on an airplane or train next time. jesus…

Did you know that I know all kinds of other languages that probably make you totally wanna do me in a sexual way that involves intercourse cuz im so alluring with my wordie awesomeness? oh, you didnt? well guess what? kids are stupid. and they fall for the silent game. you know what I fall for? unlevel floorboard without a “watch your step” sign near them.

I originally declined the request to go shopping for a frigging new dress but eventually relented. at least a video came out of it. think she’s happy i came? cuz im dy-no-mite.

Extended scenes discussing Playboys awesome marketing strategy, Ashleys ugly sunglasses, the dy-no-mite song and what racism is.

I’m so popular and in such high demand that sometimes i like to just get a reading on what “the other half” (you people) do and how you live your pathetic lives. let me know in the comments. and also – like.. if you wanna hang out or somethin. just like. lemme know. just in case. or whatever. i dontevencare. so like. whatever.

Enjoying my girly wispy Leonardo haircut before it all falls out and I turn into a skeletal horrific mess. Dicaprio did it right in Titanic: die young and die pretty. also some observations on old people.

pointing out the obvious, as usual. am i missing something? or is there a reason that Muslims should not follow the same expectations of decency and sensitivity that literally any other group would?

wearing a visor sideways is cool. you are right to hate that fact, but wrong to deny it.

My cousin had a purple “smile” stain on his mouth from drinking grape juice and I got inspired. he turned out to be a great subject.

I’m just here to help you not sound like a douchie pretentious pompous excuse making a-hole. or asshole. whatever. i couldnt decide which i liked better in this one. what do YOU think? more richardland 101′s or do you get enough of people telling you how to live your life from school, work, church and judgmental parents? no right? you need me to guide you and shame you into submission, right?… thought so. but just double check in the comments.